I know it is hard – but you will get through this!
‘You need to let go and move on’ – friends and family said this to me. But to be honest I was lost I didn’t know where to start; I didn’t know where to go. All I could think about was – if he said he was sorry it would bring my happiness back. Why was the apology so important from the one person who disrespected me and left me for someone else without a blink - a loose sorry would make the pain go away! NO! So why when I have a big wide world out there I want the one person that caused me so much pain and heartache? Was my ego just bruised – validation that he screwed up? Approval that i was better than her? What was it?
I kept thinking why did this happen to me – honestly out of no where. The more I thought and trust the process it was a calling from God, I lost my faith and me ex was a messenger to get back on track. It was a message from the lord personally for me. It was to find myself! To concentrate on myself ! To really understand who I was. People say break ups are the best to find you, but my question was how?? How do I love myself again?
Books and Articles said - do things you love? (To be honest I didn’t love anything, couldn’t focus on anything) I lost feeling and passion. Which is unlike me, none of my friends have ever seen me so low. I am a go getter, motivated but this time – I just wanted it all to go away and just hide! Then I realised, it was part of the process, the days are good then bad. You miss him then you hate him, you want to contact him then you don’t. I am way better than her, but if I was then why did he disrespect me for her? You have these constant battles in your head and in your mind. But exactly its in your mind. I know you want to talk about it everyday – do it. Write about it and talk to God!
So the list below made me heal slowly – even though I didn’t feel to do those things.
My mind wouldn’t focus on anything; I would put things off that I needed to do. Which is very unlike me, but a breakup is a mix of depression, anxiety and shock your body goes through. Of course at this point of reading, you are reading because you have no contact with him. Honestly that is the quickest way you can heal, one week – two weeks its hard. Then it is so easy - you will be so excited when you tick off each day on the calendar. Give yourself two months by then you will be on a different wave you wont even want to talk to him. Just try it – closure won’t make a difference. He made his choice let him stick with it – God has a better plan for you. I know your ego is hurt but just think how many blessing God has given you in the past.
When one door closes, another one opens but we too busy staring at the close door!
It is a journey and it will take time, trust me. Take each hour and each day as it comes. Don’t rush yourself but don’t dwell on it either. Just keep going even though you maybe lost you will find your way through the darkness. In life you might be going through a storm, in a storm or coming out of the storm – it is life. We all have problems they are a part of life but they not life!
Hope this helps
Power in Prayer
British Asian Female- working in the Finance industry plus a MUA - wanted to share the journey I have been through. Comment or email me!!